Busynyer....
just as i thought as soon as i finished my training...i'd be starting life at the low end again....
smooth...and simple...not rushing for next after next event..."berangan!"....

first day of class:
i discovered an oppurtunity to purchase a laptop through a student package loan....
i was only interested in these 2 packages....

a: a package which offers a better notebook spec(with centrino processor) + a 3 in 1 Printer (print, scan, xerox) + USB Drive + T-shirt...+..+

b: a lower spec (celeron) notebook + a PDA phone

i was having a hard time to choose....

i needed "b" because it so happened that i really needed a laptop for my final year project ...and previously i lost my phone..and i needed one a.s.a.p..(my temporary phone...which is totally off in the sense of it's exterior...and the fact that the battery lifelong is intolerable...which happens to be the part that i hate most!...just imagine entertaining an important call and it cuts off in the middle...or, when the phone rings....you were just about the look at the caller , it turns off blank....damn!)....so when i got to know about this package...i was thinking "lucky"....it was like both turns rather satisfying to my current needs....i was starting to believe that even luck comes in a package of multiple gratitudes for having patience of overcoming previous predicaments...

but then again....the tech issues doesn't lay low here....choosing a "less" in tech gadgets such as computers is not advisable...not if you want to use it for quite some time... month by month...i'm struggling to pay off the loan...in no time...the "lesser" technology will become obsolete...it's even hard to buy yourself a buyer just incase you need to sell it off...same thing goes to a PDA phone...i'm all excited over what it can do....browse the web...bluetooth..mmc card slot...camera built in...store songs...organizers...and what not..but the big question is...will i make a FULL use out of it?....come to think again...i had a moderate phone before...with a few cool functions....but at the end of the day....the major usage only lingers around answering/making calls...and sms......so much for technology paradigm...

the verdict?...heheh

like choosing men...i'd go for a simple concept of choosing what's worth and satisfies me most...
say if i get 2 moderate men and 1 superbombastic intelligent dude...i'd choose the latter...numbers doesn't overrule the theory of satisfaction not at least to me.....
if i had chosen "b"...the concept becomes like..."you buy a PDA phone...you get one free low spec notebook"
instead i had chosen "a"...where it's a fair deal of purchasing a sufficient notebook, and i get some other free gadgets like the printer and usb drive.....

i won't look back on this ....

but what challenged me most is the fact where i thought it was merely "LUCK"...but indeed...it is another "TEST" ....practically i was again forced into the situation where nothing comes so easily...you still still...have to CHOOSE and can NOT have it all....but a friend said...."At least"...you HAVE a choice ....it's far more valueble then when you don't.....

It's been 4 days since i came back.....
When asked by people "How was the trip?"...my typical answer would be "it was good...it was great?"....i couldn't be emotionally intact when answering such....what came out from my mouth isn't exactly how greatly i felt towards the whole journey and experience while i was there...

I've been meaning to take good photos of the real deal of the places i've been to...like how bad the infrastructure of the town was....the almost seemingly never ending congested roads...people everywhere..like..a lot of them...double the amount of people in Sunway pyramid during weekends..the nice exotic traditional looking houses although it is small...the suburban area....a grandfather..teaching his grandson to make something out of a bamboo stick...these are all literally crampy ...but to me ..a beautiful sight...the 8 hours(or more) bumpy zigitty zag with the daredevil-bus driver bus ride doesn't allow me to snap photos without returning a blurry picture...so i capture this sight in my memory...hoping that it wouldn't disperse before my next morning wake...but then again...how do i describe this to others?

I see every each faces of passers-by....or even the ones who approaches you to sell goods...screaming their lungs out of the fixed rupiahs...ironic how proudly they shouted "*something* ribu rupiah"...but the true value doesn't turn much of fortune to them...but when someone buys their goods..you could see the changes in their face..like..*thank god...at least i can buy some food or some household goods with these*..perhaps..this is what they were thinking...i believe....but when you turn them down...their enthusiasm turns out to a flat dissapointment...and you can read these all from just by looking at their faces and gestures...it's a sad point of view...it really is...but it teaches me one thing...every human being deserves to live..for the very least in a proper condition of having basic needs...they're like everyone else..

looking back on the official purpose of the trip...the true exposure to Javanese Gamelan.....from how it was made from scratch.who would've thought ..the mesmerizing sound from the gamelan instruments...comes from a pile of dirt...and debris of bronze molded from high-heat temperature...sweats that runs from heavy-dutied man power.....it was a contradicting knowledge...but now after seeing and believing...how i value this art..is no longer on solely the beauty side..but also through how and what it came from

And next.. the man behind the love of this art..Pak sukirman...orang seni...with his whole family yang berseni....a beautiful daughter Seri who teaches Seni Tari Indonesia in UMS ...her cute fiance....Pak Sukirman's gamelan students(kerawitan) who entertained us with javanese tune ("gendhing" or lagu) while we were having the delicious homemade indonesian delicacies ...we really felt welcomed at his house...I love the way how we communicate in his house...the way pak kirman was telling us about gamelan history...when he gave us his welcome and goodbye speech...penuh dengan adab dan tatasusila...it's best be described in malay since we share that same culture with the indonesians(some of them mcm pak kirman ni)...the way we communicate musically with the karawitan...playing alternately malaysian gamelan and javanese.. how both music sounded and also the tuning(laras) of instruments was way different...this is an interesting fact...where we could actually have our own identity of "MALAYSIAN GAMELAN"...since it's nothing like javanese or balinese...it's a concept that we could promote to the world....

in javanese gamelan...saron makes the song...as well as gambang...any form of xylophone form instruments..while bonang, slenthem...gong, kenong makes the rhythm...gendang goes for the percussion as usual....all united to form a music ensemble...no such thing as frontman or backman or whatsoever...

we had the oppurtunity to have another workshop session at Insitut Seni Yogyakarta...ISY...upon arrival...we were shocked to see how the place looked like...like it was deserted....with all free graffiti on the walls...the building looks empty...Now i know why we were warned not to say offensive things there..this is not to degrade the place..it's just sad that they don't value the place that was built by their government in purpose to preserve their arts and tradition handed down by their ancestors....
we were again "jaw"ed-down by performances...gamelan jawa and gamelan sunda this time around..they had 2 foreign students..a guy from singapore..and a beautiful japanese named MIU...i salute them for having such high passion in ethnic music that they're willing to go a thousand miles away from home to learn ethnomusicology...

We also watched wayang wong...wayang bangsawan...the only audiences was us plus a few locals in a hall which could take in a thousand people...the ticket fare was only 500 rupiah..around 20 scents our money...gosh..now it's just the same there with back here in our country...only a small amount of people appreciates traditions....the actors/actresses was all veteran...the show was in javanese..we couldn't understand most of the plots...but appreciated the whole settings...props...costumes...the gamelan music (live)

i wrote too much...it still hasn't covered what i felt during that moment...i guess it is for me to keep...i wish i could have another day to spend for having to eat at the curbside of the road..eating pecel lele....drinking the horrible tasting ice lemon tea(which tastes like sabun)..with the awful smell as if we were drinking todi tepi jalan...everyone knew how bad it tasted but forces themselves to finish it up...and when we do...everyone applaud.......eat ayam kampung yang liat...pieces of chicken won't fail to stuck between the teeth..main tutup botol.....borrowing the streets musician's guitar and strum along with them.....be on the bumpy bus rides again..shopping for cheap batiks..(i got myself a miniature of javanese gamelan.and a lot of indonesian band cds ....which costs me to run low on budget..hehehe..the rest were stuffs for family and friends...)...take good photos of candhi borobudur and surroundings...eat at jimbaran..makan sup sayur yang ada jagung rasa manis..hehe...huh....banyaknyer....

but after all these writings....it's good to be back home...it's good to be home...

Received an anonymous comment in one of my post today...something as strengthtening as "hold on to what you have..remember...the pirana in the lake"....

i remember telling a friend about my survey trip to one campsite....this dude who runs the place was telling us about the "flying fox" activity..boasting about how effective it was...since they have 2 local pirana's in the lake...(i don't exactly know how it looks like..or how dangerous it is..is it or is it not dangerous..)...so i shoot a question...what was the purpose?..why is it more effective than the normal ones?...

He replied.."When you know your life is at stake...you would hold on by all your willpower to whatever that keeps you to survive..."...

So the dear anonymous could be the dear friend i told this about ..or perhaps those who went to the survey trip with me...eitherway...that person reminded me on how i could relate to my life right now...what's best is knowing that you have still the strongest will to survive and move on...

between the rope and pirana....i chose the rope didn't i?..