a start....i could've chosen a nicely composed decorated journal, and a choice of coloured inks to "scribble"(as i have lost a partial part of writing techniques since attending lectures took over a quarter of life)....but maybe...this today...is a step of letting myself be viewed by millions...be read by thousands ..understood by hundreds....shared by a few ...despised by many...or perhaps be preserved and draws down to only one person...singled out to ME....

i don't need to revise every content...as mostly have been understood and yet practised....i don't need to know of any similarity out there...as i know there is....it's ironic how the more wisdom you receive the more confused you get...it will drain you.....it will...slowly....
I don't wanna get up in the morning feeling afraid to get by the day...so i compensate by ending the day jotting the thoughts in ..before i doze off to my subconscious land of sleep...in other words....you know what gets you to sleep...and ponder upon what life has to offer you the next day....and hence cycling the circly cycle

Most of you would probably think this is rather depressing...but this is what gets me to annihilate that almost-feeling....i never forget to smile everyday....even when there's nobody watching....i never fail to sing in a day...even when nobody's listening....i never forget to be thankful to god even if i wasn't praying....i never stop regretting my err...even if i was being forgiving....i never stop listening....even if nobody/nothing was speaking.....

that is simply why...i am nothing but i miss....i miss everything that i have passed doing...even to the very last dot of this passage.....even to the very last sight to my consciousness....even to the very last exhale to my breath....

and for today...I'm neutral....